In this time of recession and economic gloom you would think that retailers will be doing their up most to keep us customers happy... Not if this weekend is anything to go by!!!
I went to a well know car/bike store to purchase the boy a helmet so that we could enjoy mother and son cycle sessions in safety. Firstly the bike section is upstairs and the helpful man at the number plate desk simply grunted when I asked if there was such a thing as a lift, begrudgingly he offered to help me carry the pram up as long as it wasn't too heavy. This offer was made in a rather sceptical tone while he eyed my beautiful boys pudgy arms, chubby cheeks and well covered frame! I declined, instead suggesting that I could leave the pram at his desk and simply take the little man with me. He consented to this scheme, stipulating that I leave it at my own risk and he is not responsible should anything go missing or if it needs to be removed for security reasons (not sure how the nation's security could be threatened by a biscuit covered 3 wheeler but I'm no expert!!)
Off we went, feeling slightly subdued by our encounter with number plate man but no less excited about our purchase... The prepubescent school child who offered to help (well, not quite offered, more deigned to finish his chat and look at me after my distinct throat clearing) took one look at my baby, my gorgeous, cute as a button, charming, smiling, happy, beautiful boy and said, "he's got a big head for a baby hasn't he?!" erm... NO!!!
He then took a helmet and just plonked it on top of my cherub and proceeded to do the straps up. My little man was happily letting him do this, no fussing, no trying to pull the helmet off, just passively letting this youth fit him with a bike helmet. It was at this moment that I noticed the teens fingers were absolutely covered in oil and grime and I wondered when this grubby oik last washed his hands before touching my boys over sized head!!!! Little did I know that more compliments where on their way - after struggling to adjust the straps and having already commented on the size of my boy's bonce this so called assistant said "you'll have to adjust the straps because he's got such a small face" so my son's hideous deformities are not confined to his elephantine head but this is complimented, and no doubt enhanced by a freakishly small and minute face!! The whole conversation was then rounded off by the teenager saying "last child I did a helmet for screamed it's head off!" I'm not surprised!!!!!!
The shopping fun continued when I lost my mind and went to the next sale. Thankfully the children's department was a ghost ship, clearly due to bargain crazed mothers rising at the crack of dawn to purchase half price t-shirts! Personally I think it is a crime against sanity to be awake while your child is sleeping and it's certainly something that does NOT happen in the Mellon household!
I then took my mother in law to the Marks and Spencer sale, not as awful as the next sale but still pretty hideous. Why oh why is every sale like a jumble sale? I know that the clothes are discounted but why does that mean they can't be displayed in an attractive way? Mother in law wasn't as uptight about the shop's appearance as I was and found a lovely dress to purchase, fantastic! What was not fantastic was father in laws comment when we got home... He observed that the dress MIL had purchased was very similar in style and appearance to a frock that I own!!!
Hmmm...So all in all this weekend I have discovered that not only do I have a son with an 'interesting' head/face combo but I also have the fashion sense of an 85 year old!!!! What a lucky man hubby is!!!
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